Realization. (and) Conversation

 I should stop trying to draw like other people, and drawing pictures that frustrate me because they're either really hard to draw or take so long I dislike doing it. 
 I should just draw how I want to, without worrying about what people think. 

 My wolf and I were talking, and I'm thinking about spending my senior year living up north with my Aunt Jodi to be closer to him. 

 Nobody knows that I've been in love with him since I was a pup; nobody even thinks anything about the way I feel for him. I learned a few months ago that he's known for years, because he knows me better than anybody else does, even my own mother. When I asked him why he never brought it up to me, he said it was because he knew I'd come to him when I was ready.

 He says when I'm 18 I can move in with him and I'll even have my own room, that made me happy, because I was even fine if all I got was a couch or a corner to myself. I brought up the concern that I don't even know how to pump gas, let alone handle finances. He just smiled and said that he'd be glad to teach me. 

  My dilemma:

 The only thing that keeps me from transferring schools this year and moving up there to live with my aunt now is my friend Angel, and my "emotional mate" (as I call him) Brandon. Angel is my nongirlfriend-girlfriend, and Brandon is the guy I wanted and still (kinda) want to marry. Talking about marriage with Brandon, I probably would have married him if I hadn't listened to suicide threats and gone back with Matthew, but I'm getting off topic. 

 Angel told me that she'll visit, which means when I'm in senior year she'll move away to be with her fiance and I can live wherever. The only thing, then, keeping me to my maternal pack site is Brandon. I feel like I'd be abandoning him, but I'm not sure if staying here would be in my best interest either. I know all the guys here that I can, and none of them feel as right as my wolf. 

I'm trying to think if I missed anything...if so I will add it later, or write another journal.

If any of y'all have questions of any sort, on any subject just comment below or leave a comment on my page and depending on the question and subject (etc) I'll either reply or I'll write a journal about the question. 

I love you all.